This past month I’ve noticed more about my own personal physicality. By this I mean that I have been trying to pay more attention to my body: where it aches, when during the day I feel most lucid, what my heart rate seems to be doing. My goal is to better gauge when I am hungry and to generally become more aware of how I respond physically to different scenarios. But I think the biggest takeaway from this experience is that I am constantly feeling anxious for some reason! Like. All the time! For no reason! If I feel good, I seem to find another thing to feel anxious about right away! Ahh! Maybe this is a product of the season I’m in. School is definitely a big stressor and in some ways the anxiety keeps me on top of things. But I was disappointed that in trying to know myself better, I became more aware of… whatever this is.
Not everything pans out the way it is supposed to! But I suppose that there can absolutely still be value in something that does not go to plan. This is also MUCH harder to accept in the midst of it happening. Much easier said than done. Usually when things don’t pan out I tend to just lie on the floor and play some Phoebe Bridgers, Japanese Breakfast, or Charli XCX.
I made a new zine this month, which gave me something to come back to again and again for a full week. I hope the creative fulfillment from that project carries me into the next month. And I hope everyone reading this is feeling creatively and emotionally fulfilled lately. Stay well! Read a book or go outside! I’ll try to take my own advice!
End-of-Month | webzine and blog 