Hi again. Lately I cannot let myself relax. I think I have this fear that if I start to relax fully, I won’t be able to pull myself back out of it and get to work again. If I start sleeping, I won’t wake up. Because, maybe, I need it that badly.
Or maybe I don’t. Maybe things are great! My tendency to be unsure of myself runs so deep that I don’t even know how I should be feeling sometimes. I think I’m gaslighting myself all the time. And on the other hand, I often find myself too stoic and unemotional. Do you also find yourself hard to be around sometimes?
Dreams have been strange lately. Wish they weren’t so strange because they are starting to get accurate. But summer is around the corner. It’s my favorite season, poetically. Too much to write about. So much, in fact, that it falls off the vine. The flies and animals get to it. But they can have it!
Enjoy “Eternal Love” by Fin.K.L and think of summer. Think of being sure of yourself. Think of the grand scheme of your life zooming out, and seeing yourself in the frame. There you are! Waving back at yourself with all the admiration in the world.
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