Hmm. I’m writing this post from Seattle, which is obviously beautiful in the summer. Walking around briefly on a warm night near the Space Needle felt a bit like a reset honestly. I think I needed to remember how many other people exist. And the suburbs too can do that for me with all its unwarranted quiet rage. The crowded strip malls. The sando restaurant being the exact same. The low sun and a walking trail next to the freeway. On my walk I listened to “Feel Again” by OneRepublic and it honestly felt like feeling. It’s hard to feel moved right now towards anything but despair, anger, sadness. And I feel guilty for these thoughts because what on earth is happening to me here!!!
But I haven’t been in tune with myself lately. Studying for a big exam is really oppressive because it just looms over you no matter what you do. It’s nice to have a big goal, but it’s overwhelming. I feel very creatively stifled. Submitted and got accepted to a zine fair recently! But on the day of the event I felt a bit like a poser. I didn’t know how to talk to people there. I don’t know how to feed my hobby and to let it feed me. It’s really taking a back seat lately, which I wanted to avoid. This doesn’t bode well for the next year. I’ll do something about it I hope.
In the midst of everything, a list of fulfilling things: tempura, sunsets through tall trees, sparkling lake water, soda, guitar hero, new beginnings, sweet love, tenderness, swedish candy, laser light shows, music, complaining, going with the rhythm of everything. Still!
End-of-Month | webzine and blog 