Back to routine and commitment and expression. We are almost a quarter of the way through 2026 and I’m thinking again about how time moves away from me. I think Los Angeles continues to astound me with its weather consistency, but also its timelessness. It makes everything feel slow even when the months barrel forwards. I am happy to be back and writing something here.
I found a song called “Elevator Love Letter” by Stars, a Canadian indie group. the lyrics go: “My office glows all night long / it’s a nuclear show and the stars are gone / elevator, elevator take me home.” It makes me feel cozy and okay in my fatigue and weariness. Which is not a constant feeling, but it is present more and more lately. I find myself upset at how mundaneness and routine make me feel like I missed out on the rest of the world. Maybe not a useful line of thought because no matter what we do, we may feel like we are missing out on the rest of the world. Everything is designed to make us want everything, to make us feel like we are part of everything and nothing. We are just ourselves, and fatigue feels inevitable these days.
If I think about it, fatigue is a personal experience, and it almost feels natural to let it blend with other feelings. It gives the mind a physical anchor, even if that anchor is itself fading or resistant. On days when I find myself dissociating and when the hours feel like minutes, I think it might be useful to find new ways to feel my emotions more deeply, more memorably. I want to fight the current of days that I let pass me by without remark.
I am grateful to the people and things that make me feel especially present, which help to contextualize all the other changes and patterns and shifts happening out there. You make me happy to live in this time, in this month.
End-of-Month | webzine and blog 