Tag Archives: January 2024

End of January 2024: Perfecting

Hello if you’re back! I just can’t really bring myself to delete this website haha.

So I think winter causes us to turn inwards sometimes. We examine ourselves because it is too cold outside. Or there is something about the season that makes us evaluate our own sturdiness. But maybe I am projecting my own feelings onto the season.

Lately I’ve been searching myself and trying to smooth out the corners. Sometimes it feels like ironing out the edges. Sometimes it feels like steamrolling the center of things. I tried to set resolutions this year, but didn’t successfully set any at the top of the month. I always get reflective around this time of year, which makes more sense than the start of January anyways. The end of December is for acceptance and celebration. The end of January is about looking forward and seeing what sticks. 

Here is a list of a few things that have been making me happy lately:

- Sweaters
- Wide noodles
- Movies, of course
- Strangely: being busy
- My new zine
- Listening to a full album of music
- Leather jackets
- Sunlight
- Audiobooks

Resolution

When I brush my teeth I think about dying
and how the seafloor's dissolving
and how it rains a blanket 
so we stay inside, my posture 
as bad as a gallon of water.
Dad voiced a half-thought
It is good to wake up—
He thought of the lake, saw the news
and stopped. The year so far
is taro chips, movies,
"The Leanover," 
and accepting at last 
that I am not a good reader. No, I am 
not ready to enter the world again.
Will a good jacket cure me?
A phone call for once?
A frozen swim? Will the fish in the trenches 
know I am better? I'm relentless,
the shaker, moving the clock,
all to say 
at the end
that I loved it.