Self-portrait From Inside

 I am more confident. I guess 
 I decided two days ago  
  
 when I woke up with the feeling 
 that I was sweating sesame seeds.
  
 I heard a siren in the distance 
 and did not think it unusual  
  
 for this forested street. Before that, 
 a family member gifted me seaweed body oil 
  
 but I could not imagine putting on 
 more oil. All of it, like the past months, wrings 
  
 out of my bleach-sick hair and I would
 pluck it all out if I was not afraid. 
  
 There is pencil lead living in my left thumb
 (which makes me a compass, or android, 
  
 or rough draft) and in the back of my left eye  
 there is something foreign. I couldn't tell you.
  
 I imagine an oddity caused by blue light
 and google "blue light glasses" or "am I sick with:"
  
 autofill. Do you ever check the time and look
 at everything but the time? No use lying 
  
 unless it is down to sleep, of course
 it's all rain: how the words leave our mouths
  
 and cling to another, waiting for once
 to be drunk back hungry.